Tag Archives: dance

What Personal Belongings Do You Hold Most Dear and Minessententionalism?

Featured | Posted by
Daily writing prompt
What personal belongings do you hold most dear?
View all responses

This is a great question for me to answer as a Minessententionalist because I don’t own that much stuff, but the belongings I do own mean a lot to me.

Think about things differently. Differently is upside down.
Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

I’d say that the most valuable things I own are practical things that I use every day, and they are all kept in my car or on me at all times.

Here’s the list:

  1. 6 pairs of dance shoes (tap shoes, dance sneakers with suede bottoms from Supadance, dance sneakers from Fuego that I can wear to dance on other surfaces, 2 pairs of International Dance practice shoes – one leather and one mesh pair, ballet slippers)
  2. Sketch book with Micron pens
  3. JBL Bluetooth Speaker
  4. Rode video microphone with tripod vlogger kit
  5. iPhone (currently iPhone 13ProMax
  6. Apple Watch Ultra
  7. iPadPro with Apple Pencil
  8. Nikon D7200 (DSLR) with 2 lenses for photography, one for unclose and one telephoto lens
  9. Hiking boots with wool socks
  10. My car (2012 Prius C)
  11. MacBook Pro
  12. Plant collection for The Rare Plant Haus and my personal collection of Orchids and Aroids
  13. Art collection that decorates my house of art that I’ve done over the years
  14. 3 ballgowns that I cannot seem to bring myself to let go of because they are works of art.
  15. My hybrid bike (Cannondale) and my road bike (Trek Lexa SC)
  16. 3 pairs of NoBull sneakers (they are like works of art and are my favorite sneakers)
  17. YouTube subscription
  18. Apple One subscription

That’s it. Those are the possessions or things I have in my life that I hold dear to me. If there was ever a fire, these are the things I would save or try to hold onto. It’s not that much stuff at all. Pretty compact and minimal and all keys to things I enjoy doing.

Minessententionalism isn’t about owning nothing. It’s about owning what you need (essential) with great intent in what you do own (intentionalism) without owning a ton of stuff (Minimalism). It’s where the three ideas of Essentialism, Intentionalism and Minimalism cross.

Reviewing the list, you will notice the activities that I enjoy go into the businesses that I run and they all kind of feed one another. If I was reviewing the list, and made an assessment about myself, I’d say I’m a person who is into photography, shooting photos and video for social media and personal projects, who loves the outdoors, loves dance and loves to listen to music and nerd out on tech, and is very likely some kind of endurance athlete. I’d say I’m a person who loves to be in nature and likes to travel around town but also loves to walk around. I’d say I love plants and art.

Yes, I do own other items, but these are the items that are most dear to me at this time. This list is in constant flux as well. The meaning of the items I chose today has a lot to do with what is going on in my life at the moment. If I’d made this list 3 months ago, I wouldn’t have had the dance shoes to put on this list, and I would’ve forgotten about the ballgowns because they are in the back of my closet and I haven’t thought about them in years. I’ve recently gotten back into dancing and coaching dancing again, so the dance shoes are very recent additions to the list.

I’ve intertwined my loves and passions, the stuff I do care for and my life and businesses. They all go together. They all define me. I believe in doing whatever it is you’re passionate about so you never have to feel like you’re working a day in your life. Monetize your life if you can. There’s truth in phrase “do what you love” because why not if you are fortunate enough to do it? It takes time to build up to doing what you love as a full-time gig. Trust me, it’s taken me 20 years to get to the point I’m at in my life where I can just do what I love. That’s not something I take for granted. I remember the years I worked in corporate and taught dance as a side gig just so I could keep doing what I loved to do. I remember the day I left corporate on August 17, 2021 and the only thing I knew to be true was that I’d NEVER go back to corporate America because I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Live a life you’re passionate about, and the personal items you have will reflect the passions in our life. What items do you have in your life that mean the world to you? Do personal items and business items overlap for you like they do for me? Email me at sarathlete@hotmail.com and let me know. I’d love to hear your story!

Sarathlete

Advertisement

What Is the Legacy You Want to Leave Behind?

Posted on by

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

I saw a new, ground-breaking hip hop opera in February 2023 put on by Lyric Opera at the Harris Theater in Chicago called The Factotum. This opera is a modern remaking of Rossini’s The Barber of Seville. (Honestly, I’m very grateful I saw this modern version because it saved me from having to sit through The Barber of Seville.)

Here is a synopsis of The Factotum, and a discussion of the basis of the remainder of my blog post. Watch this before reading on. The discussion of the idea of legacy is covered in this video. Also, there is some amazing singing and collaborating that goes on in this clip.

What’s the legacy I want to leave behind? I know for sure, as always, what my legacy will not be, and that is children. I’ve always known this deep down at my core. I do not want children. Children are probably the most popular way to leave a legacy to anyone.

My legacy will live on as as a leader/coach/mentor-inspiration/teacher to others. I am all of these things. This feels like such an egotistical thing to say. I’ve had to come to accept this about myself recently: that I am an inspiration to others.

The legacy I will leave behind is the knowledge and wisdom I impart on other people. People follow me. I lead them. On the dance floor and in life. It’s annoying. Yet, it’s true. Denying this fact about myself denies who I am as a person. On the road to self-acceptance and self-actualization you have to know who you are and what you stand for. I’m here at this point my journey in life.

The legacy I want to leave behind is one of a tire leader who always eats last because I care. I care about people. I will go to the mat for them if I believe in them enough. This is the person I am. I also have vision and can recognize promise and talent in people that they may not be able to see in themselves at the time or in the moment. I can recognize both the good guys/girls and the bad ones.

I want to leave a legacy of fellow leaders behind who can take what they learned from me and pass down the knowledge they learned from me and other people who inspire them as they move forward in their lives whether they are on their fluid intelligence curve or crystallized intelligence curve (Dr. Arthur Brooks, From Strength to Strength).

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Sarathlete

How Do You Feel About Cold Weather?

Posted on by

How do you feel about cold weather?

I’m hot and cold about cold weather to be honest!

I get sick of being cold all of the time when it’s cold outside.

I love snow, as long as I’m not driving in it!

I love the coziness that cold weather brings.

I hate when it’s supposed to be warm out, and it’s still cold out!

I live near Chicago, so maybe I should define what cold weather means to me. Everyone is different based on where they live. To me, “cold weather” is anything 40 degrees and below.

As my body changes composition changes and I get leaner and meaner, I do find that I’m colder more often than ever before. I always carry a sweatshirt with me in case I get cold indoors!

Bottom line, I don’t like to be cold, but I don’t like to be too warm either. I just like it how I like it! I’m the bear the likes it just right!

Cold weather and being cold are the same thing even they may not be related at all!

It’s almost summer, and I’m grateful the cold weather is leaving us. We still get cold days, and that frustrates me. I love being outdoors and there is something about being inside that is depressing to me and it affects my mood. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

Cold weather brings with it a time for reflection and a chance to go inside or indoors and reflect. We also lose time as well in my area with Daylight Savings Time, so that affects the amount of light we get along with being inside, so it’s a double-edged sword. Every winter I get through going inside, and it makes me that much more grateful when Spring and Summer are here.

Rather than dwelling on what we cannot control, focus on being grateful for what you have in the moment. At this moment in my area, we are heading into Summer! Summer endurance sports! Ice cream! Dancing outside in the park! Going to the beach! Fresh air and sunshine! Free outdoor concerts and theatre experiences. Yes, girl! Love it!

I love where I live and truly enjoy all 4 seasons!

Sarathlete

What Is The Oldest Thing You’re Wearing Today?

Posted on by

What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?

The expression on my face: the focused dancer face. The look that says, “Don’t mess with me or get in my way because I’m doing what I love, and you will not get in the way.

This is a face of great intensity. I’ve even been told that many times, “Wow, you are intense.” I used to take this as an insult in that I thought it described me as being off-putting somehow. It can be off-putting. Sometimes I become the expression on my face: a bit too intense.

The way I do one thing is the way I do everything. Intense is how I function in the world. Like it or not, it’s part of who I am. Deny it or not, it’s me. Intense focus is how I get so much shit done in my life. Sometimes this can be my greatest asset, and other times it can be my biggest detriment.

Being high level and intensely focused can come at a great cost. It can cost you people in your life. It can make it really hard to understand other people who aren’t quite so high functioning as myself.

This intensely focused person is someone who I’ve had to accept over the years and come to terms with as the truth about who I am. I don’t love this about myself, but I’m learning to love this aspect of my personality. I’m on a journey of learning to love who I am.

Truth be told, I don’t love myself all of the time. Oftentimes, compliments feel like lies. Surely, the person giving the compliment is telling me a lie, right? Dance and life has taught me that there is always a way to improve and always a way to get better. In my view, that has always been the case. There must always be a way to get better, right?

Yes, there is always room for improvement. However, I have to watch it. Strivers go straight for perfectionism.

I spent the summer of 2022 in recovery. I was recovering from my 41 years of nearly non-stop trauma. I had four years of happiness in college from 1999 – 2003 at IU Bloomington where I can honestly say I loved my life and I was truly happy. Otherwise, my life has been a shit show, and I haven’t been happy. Not truly happy like I was in college when I had agency and independence over my own life. Just now, I’m finding that happiness again.

Life is post-recovery now, and I’m learning to live without the recovery center. I’m also learning to live without antidepressants. That’s a scary way to learn to navigate the world.

Life is changing rapidly for me. I’ve been struggling with no stability in my life right now. I can handle change, and all of the stress I’ve dealt with in my life has caused me to be able to better handle the traumatic changes I’ve experienced of late, but that doesn’t mean I want quite the level of change in my life that has been the past several months.

I understand that my life looked one way. I went through recovery and now it looks completely different. I’ve been doing things lately that I said I’d never ever do: dance again, teach again, let friends into my life, trust people, feel sexy, build new relationships and friendships with people, be around people.

Yet, at the same time, I feel amazing. I’m doing things I thought I’d sworn off because I thought I’d failed or that I didn’t need people in my life. COVID-19 showed me how alone and isolated I was and had become in my life. Now, I’m rebuilding my life one stone at a time. I wasn’t sure what my life would look like as I rebuilt it.

One thing I’ve been doing is trying not to control it. This is hard for an intensely focused person to do. Strivers love to be in control. I love to be in control. I can’t control my destiny though. I can’t control the future, or who will and won’t hurt me. I wish I could. Part of living beyond ACA and recovery is trying my best to not revert to old me: the control freak; the all-or-nothing thinker, the perfectionist and the people pleaser. Wow, am I the definition and living embodiment of all of those things.

So, the intensely focused expression on my face is what I’m wearing today because I have a lot of work I need to get done right now. I need to be on my A game. No one is better than being on their A game and focusing when she needs to be quite like me.

I was born this way. I picked up my Striver tendencies from my parents. I am a reflection of my parents. But that doesn’t mean I have to be completely like my parents. My parents can be real jerks. They still are to this day in the way they treat their only daughter. So, I went through ACA and did the work to change. I could see what my parents did to me, and how much they abused me. Yet, I still honor my parents for giving me life. I’m grateful for the opportunities they gave me over the years. I hate how they treat me to this day. I still love them. Biological love.

I can change my ways. I’m working on it every day. I don’t want to become my parents. I have a choice. I may still revert to my old ways: the Stiver with the intensely focused expression on my face. Now I know how to handle it better.

How do I put a smile on my face, something new for me, when I’m living in a time of intense work and focus?

I go to a dance party and hang around people who aren’t as good as me at my craft. I’m doing a lot with dance right now. I’m rebuilding a college dance team that I’d layed the groundwork for and walked away from in 2011 when my time was done coaching because I couldn’t take working in corporate at Fidelity as a title examiner and coaching dance and competing and performing all at the same time. I destroyed myself, and made the choice to take a break and do something else jn 2011. COVID-19 destroyed the VU ballroom dance club and competition team I’d originally built.

I feel like history is repeating itself sometimes and it scares me. I never thought I’d be back at VU re-building what I’d already built.

History has repeated itself within the last week in many many scary ways. Scary ways that show me a reflection of the past. I can’t explain why history is repeating itself. Even though the end result is different, I keep having to tell myself that it will be ok because I am different now. I have changed, and that is the determining factor in my success as a person and in my career.

I have people in my life who love and care about me now. I have community in my life now and people who want to please me. As a people pleaser, I know damn well not to take these people for granted because so many people in my life have taken me for granted. My parents. My husband. My in-laws. I’ve discussed in many of my old posts on this blog those old stories. My life was on the fritz. There was a time, many times, where I didn’t want to continue living. The reason being I didn’t have community in my life.

I have community and people who I love and trust, and who love and trust me. I can move forward with intense focus knowing that these people care about me and love me, and that I am learning to love myself.

Being a striver isn’t a bad thing if I can keep it in check and balance. I believe I can do that now with the support group of friends and family I have in my life now. If I’m being a striver, or as I say about myself, “Oh, I’m being an asshole”, then I’m better able to recognize it or I give you permission to call me on it because it’ll help me out greatly! I need to know so I can correct the behavior. I need to know when I’m striving too much so that I remember I need to come down, rest and have fun and just go to a dance party with people who don’t understand dance quite on the level I do. I just need to have fun with my profession because that’s where the joy lies: having fun!

I’ve got my intensely focused game face on right now to get through the work. It’s an expression of seriousness to be sure. I’m also going to be wearing something new to me tonight: a smile.

Fight or flight is the striver. Rest and digest is the joker. I need to have both to have balance in my life!

Why You Should Nurture Other Interests While You’re Indulging Your Main Passion

Featured | Posted by

For years, I had one passion: dance. 

What activities did I nurture on the side when I wasn’t dancing? 

Not much to be honest. Dance was everything to me.

That became a problem when I left the dance world, and all I had left was my day job.

One of the reasons I advocate for nurturing interests on the side is because I remember what it was like to have dance be my world, and when I chose to leave that world due to burnout, I felt oh-so-very lost.

So, what was next for me?

This blog.

I kept on moving. I started running. I did a 5k, half and full marathon one year. The next year I got into triathlons. The year after that was cycling. And the year after that was a year of hot yoga. 

The year after that, I lost touch with movement for many years. I had a very dark period where depression and emotional eating ruled my life. I stopped moving for a while. Eventually I went back to the gym and got into weight lifting and boxing. Then came COVID and a back injury. Then came ACA/12 step and recovery.

Within this time, I got very into personal development in searching for a solution to make myself feel better and trying to figure out why I was so depressed and felt so awful.

During COVID came an interest in orchids and growing other tropical houseplants. I enjoyed this so much I started my own business in May of 2021 called The Rare Plant Haus.

All throughout this time period I tried art classes of different sorts. I kept on moving even when I felt low and didn’t feel like moving my body.

Nurture side interests that you’re curious about while you perform your main passion because when you’re at the top of your craft, burnout your main passion is inevitable. 

It’s not just me saying burnout is inevitable. It’s human nature. It’s the 10 year/10,000 hour rule. At some point in your life, you’re going to want to change course and do something different.

If you wait until burnout occurs, you decide to leave your passion, and you haven’t nurtured anything else on the side, then you’re going to be a beginner and brand new at everything. Being a beginner at everything isn’t a bad thing, but you may not want to be like me and be the beginner at everything at the same time. Learning a LOT of new things at the same time is hard for anyone. It leads to the possibility of feeling like you’re not very good at anything. It’s not a fun way to feel.

If you nurture side interests you have and explore new things that aren’t front and center with your main passion, then you can enjoy being a beginner. You get to learn new things and find out what you like and don’t like about said interest and if you even want to pursue it or not. 

This advice is applicable to anyone, not just athletes. If you don’t nurture any side hobbies, then what happens when you don’t want to work in your field anymore? What other skills do you have to move into a new field? I would say none if you don’t spend time developing your other interests.

All of the things I thought I was bad at simply was because I was a beginner are now some of my main focuses: blogging and writing regularly as part of my business, wanting to live an active life again that does NOT involve dance, when I got back into fitness and movement I wanted to run, bike and swim. I’m not a beginner at any of these things anymore. I may not be great at them yet, but I know I enjoy them and can make a living doing them. These are all things I’m pursuing right now or will be very soon in the future.

What I need to ask myself now is: what’s next? The side things I did from 2011 to 2022 to build new interests are now my main focus. 

What new things am I going to try out and be a total beginner at so that I’ll have new interests when these passions I have now inevitably fade?

I’m aware that burnout will occur for me. I burnt out after 10 years of teaching dance. I burnt out after 12 years in the real estate/title examiner world. Based on my history, with work and athletics, I am asking myself right now, what would I like to do in the future so that I don’t (hopefully) repeat history and burn out with no clue as to what comes next. I don’t want to have to spend a decade developing new main passions because I lose interest in present day interests. 

If I take the time to nurture a new hobby or two now, then I reduce the chances of feeling lost and with a huge time void with nothing to fill said time. 

Burnout happens. You might fall out of love with the thing you enjoy the most. This doesn’t just happen to athletes. Many people start out in life with 9-5 job they enjoy and by the time they hit their 40s or 50s, they’re looking for what is next. Or worse…they get stuck. They stay because they don’t know what else to do.

What’s next for you? Need help figuring it out? Email me at sarathlete@hotmail.com.  Let’s talk it out.

Sarathlete

Picking the Lesser Of Two Evils: Which Would I Rather Do? Fun Interview and Getting-To-Know Me A Little Better

Featured | Posted by

I’ve had this idea bubbling in my head as like a trivia post. It’s a self-interview and gives you a chance to get to know me a little bit better. So I’m going to ask myself a series of questions where I select the lesser of two evils and see which one I pick. 

+++

Sara, which would you rather do:

  1. Dance on pointe (ballet) or run a marathon?

Run a marathon.

  1. Have Christmas dinner with your parents or your in-laws?

Have Christmas dinner with my parents. 

  1. Go shopping at a crowded mall or or watch a comedy-style opera?

Watch a comedy-style opera

  1. Take ballroom dance lessons from a complete beginner or socialize at a party where I know no one?

Take ballroom dance lessons from a complete beginner.

  1. Attend faith night at the recovery center once a week or drive in Chicago (or any large city) traffic at rush hour every day for a month?

Drive in Chicago traffic at rush hour every day for a month.

+++

I’ve given myself a selection of two things I don’t enjoy, and I’ve selected the one I can tolerate, put up with, or would rather do over the other. Both options in each questions difficult for me for different reasons, but I have a preference for one or the other if I was presented the choice because I know which one is more tolerable than the other.

Sometimes that’s what we get in life. We can’t do exactly what we want and we have to compromise and pick the lesser of two evils. When life isn’t going your way and you have to make a choice, sometimes you have to pick what you think you can tolerate when neither choice is optimal or enjoyable. You choose based on your preferences and what you can stand.

I’d rather run a marathon than dance on pointe, not because either was easy for me, but running a marathon was easier and far less painful than dancing on pointe ever was.

I’d rather sit through Christmas dinner with my parents because I know that it’ll be a quiet experience vs. my in-laws who are very loud, gossipy, and will pick at me. My parents are quiet and passive aggressive and I can tolerate them over my in-laws any day.

I’d rather sit through a comedy-style opera than go shopping at a crowded mall because I can avoid the crowds that way. Comedy-style operas are my least favorite, but I’d sit through one any day over having to go to a crowded mall.

I’d rather take ballroom dance lessons from someone who knows basically nothing (yes, this is a real thing that happens in studios where the teacher is often one step ahead of their students) than have to socialize at a party with anyone I don’t know. 

I’d rather drive in rush hour Chicago traffic than attend faith night at the recovery center once a week because I don’t want to have god and faith shoved down my throat.

Sarathlete

The Gift of Movement

Posted on by

A wiggle. A waddle. A bob and weave. A hand stand. A walk in the park. A bike ride. A foxtrot. A cartwheel. It doesn’t matter how or where or when but we were made to move.

Dancing and yoga and walking in the city and biking down paths and country roads are the forms of movement I’m most into right now.

I am sarathlete! I’m on the move!

I’m so grateful for the ability to be able to move. I was inspired to write this post today by my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law can barely move. I had lunch with Pete’s side of the family today. My mother-in-law is in her early seventies. She’s so overweight she couldn’t walk from the booth to the front door of the restaurant today without being out of breath and having to sit down before she walked out to the car. Her back hurt. She was out of breath. Want to know why? Because she barely moves. She will tell you that she cannot move. She sits in a chair all day and chooses not to move. Instead of trying to to things for herself my mother-in-law chooses to order her husband around all day having him do simple tasks like getting her food or whatever.

I don’t feel sorry for my mother-in-law. I’m not taking pity or making a judgment of her. This is my observation of her.

Watching my mother-in-law today made me so grateful for the gift of movement. I don’t envy her choice not to move at all. I’m also grateful, as a friend once said, that I still have all of my original factory parts! My mother-in-law was such an inspiration to move that I came home and went on a fast 20 mile bike ride. I pushed myself harder on that ride than I ever have when I’ve ridden in the past. Why? Because I could.

I can move. You can move. The choice to move is up to the individual.

For me movement gives me freedom, provides a means of transportation, gives me a form of emotional and physical expression. Movement fulfills me and helps me sustain my life. Movement makes me joyous.

I hope you choose to move because movement makes like so beautiful and interesting, in my opinion! I love it!

If you choose to move then honor yourself and your movement by moving right now. Get up and do a happy dance. Do tree pose. Go jump in a lake. Make a joyful noise. Why? Because you can. You made your choice. Relish in that fact.

Life is a gift. Live it. Move it. Shake it up a bit! Get out of breath once in a while! We can’t choose to move when we die. So move now and celebrate the wonderfully fabulous gift of life!

Namaste!

Sarathlete

Me after a glorious 4 mile walk in Chicago! So happy!

IMG_0009.JPG

13 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

Posted on by

1. I have a TON of energy.

2. I’m left handed.

3. I’m really strong…physically and emotionally.

4. I’m very childlike. I’d still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy if I could but apparently they don’t exist.

5. I drive fast.

6. I’m a natural dancer.

7. I’m a horrible runner.

8. I’ve struggled with eating disorders three times in my life so far.

9. I’m a former professional ballroom dancer who can’t stand the “Glamour Addiction” behind the sport (it’s a book..read it if you want).

10. I stand up for what I believe in.

11. I’ve had both my mother and 2 bosses (each at a dance studio) tell me I’m overweight.

12. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

13. I’m superstitious and think 13 is an unlucky number.

14. I’m giving you a bonus one so we don’t have to end on 13: I LOVE Costco!!!!!!

Sara