The Top Ten Things That Have NEVER Happened to Me…Honestly

1. I’ve never forgotten to put my deodorant on before leaving for work, realized I felt a little sweaty in the armpit region and then pulled the spare Secret stick out of my purse and applied to said area when no one was looking.

2. I’ve never sent a salad back to the kitchen at a restaurant because they put the dressing on it when I asked for it on the side.

3. I’ve never left my Christmas decorations up all year because they were just so pretty to look at.

4. I’ve never gotten drunk and then gone out and bought a dog for company.

5. I’ve never gone out and bought another dog and told my fiance about it when he was on his way home from work.

6. I’ve never laid down in someone’s front yard after finishing a bottle of wine in an hour.

7. I’ve never taken so much Midol to dull the pain that I taught a jitterbug lesson before a dance party and played Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young” for a half hour.

8. I’ve never rolled down a flight of stairs in a building that had absolutely no right angles in college, gotten up and thought, “Will I be able to dance?”

9. I’ve never helped prep a meal and gotten the measurements wrong because all of the measurements are worn off of the measuring cups and I couldn’t tell which was which.

10. I’ve never been trying to reach something on the top shelf of the grocery store, had someone offer to help me get it and heard another person snicker about the situation as they walked by.

Yep I’ve never done any of this. I’m perfect. Haha NOT!

What are some things you’ve NEVER done? Post ’em. I want to know.