I was thinking about a bridal shower the other day. I won’t be having one but I was thinking about what it meant. A bridal shower. The term bridal defines that it has nothing to do with the groom. The word shower could imply rain. If it rained on the bride that would piss her off. My guess would be that the word shower implies showering the bride with, in this case, gifts. Not just any gifts though…traditional gifts.

I’ve been to one bridal shower in my life. Do you feel sorry for me? Please don’t. I wish I could get those few hours back. Sitting at a table eating lunch at a stuffy country club followed by watching the bride open kitchen and other household items meanwhile saying, “Oh thank you for my gift” is not my ideal way to spend an afternoon. If it were me, I’d be pissed off if someone dared to get me a set of pots and pans, knives, a blender or a vacuum cleaner, etc. What’s even sadder is that tradition dictates that you must register for items like these.

The term “registering” is even funnier to me. It’s a way of saying, “This is what I need. You can get me what I need at this store.”

Let’s think about this: in the time before the marriage, neither person had a set of knives? Really? And neither person had a set of pots and pans they could’ve used and brought into the combined household? Hmmm…somehow unless you were cooking on a hot plate using plastic picnic-ware, I’m guessing the couple had these items before they got married.

Why does the bride have to ask for things she technically may already have? New sheets? Really? You don’t have a set of sheets to sleep on? New towels? Really? What were you using to wipe down with after a shower before…toilet paper?

Let’s buck tradition for one minute. Let’s say you have an athletic bride, like myself. Why not register for a your favorite pair of running shoes at your local running store along with some running shorts, tights, a couple jackets for cold weather, hydration belt and your favorite gels? Well for one, I don’t think running stores have a bridal registry but if you know one that does then props to them! The other reason is that it’s not traditional. Wedding guests would look at the bride like she was nuts if that’s what she asked for.

I do understand the real reason why brides register for things they already have. They’re getting married and starting a new life with someone and tradition says we must have new things. The bride must have new kitchen appliances to have dinner on the table by 5pm when the hubby gets home. The couple must have brand new sheets unsoiled by previous relationships. I really do get it. I just don’t accept it.

I have all of the “stuff” brides get at a bridal shower already. Is that why I’m not having a bridal shower? No it’s not. The real reason is that I just don’t want to be bothered doing something I don’t believe in. I don’t subscribe to the belief of a traditional wedding and all of the events that go with it. Does that piss people off? Sure it does. Do I care? No. I’m doing what makes me happy. I’m getting married for my own sake, not for the sake of people around me. If you’re a non-traditional bride like me it’s really ok to buck tradition. In fact, give it a big roundhouse kick in the face. Maybe then we can move on from having daddy walk the little lady down the aisle to give her away to someone so she can have dinner on the table by 5pm.

Sara